Spirit Guide

When we learn to surrender into the complete unknown
When we melt into the here and the now
When we let go of all expectations and attachments...

That is where the magic happens
How we grow our inner strength
Connect to the radiance within ourselves
And find home, within the heart

in the realms of the spirit world, we danced over broken glass, between shattered dreams we found a way, to reflect the light we see within…

The Edge

You’ll find me, dancing 
Through the cycle of the seasons,
Between the salt-laced fold of oceans
At the edge of Reason’s grip 

Where in the gentle darkness;
Beside the flames licking the firewood 
A whisper grows, a yearning turns
The blood to honeyed-wine

Then I’ll seek the giddy silence
That spikes the music, with its notes
Of melting snow, begging
For the burnt touch of the stars

Song of the Spirits

In periods of physical separation
Remember that we remain connected at heart
Our souls entwined
Playfully, above
In a place where time has no meaning

I feel your spirit, hand in mine

as we twirl dancing, through the gates of time…

Onward Bound

I pack my things,
to close this chapter;
a door on all, 
I left behind.
The nights I tossed
in this bed
as I witnessed my death,
over and over;
felt the vicious pain
of a wounded mother,
a sick child, 
and a lost father.
But I took that hurt,
I whispered it love
and learnt to look
the darkness in the eye.
I did not shy
away from those lessons
my guides had sent
to spur me on this road.
And I'll face it now
with a strength and light
I'll raise my gaze
to the boundless sky.
I'll call those stars
right down to earth;
and I'll open my heart
so they may show
the way

* * *

The road ahead is long, and the future uncertain; but each step I’ll take, knowing I’m precisely where I’m meant to be…

Call of the Divine

Do you feel the burning
Deep in your soul's blood
Crying and releasing
You'll dance down this road

Trust in the process
Of all that's unfurling
The light and the darkness
That's weaving through time

We stand connected
Awakened, empowered
No matter the distance
That separates our flesh

Ancestral healing
The womb of the Daughter
Is ready, and yearning
To finally let go

Releasing, and rising
The era has come
Now connect to the heart
To the beat of the Divine

Storm of the Ego

I watch you play
In the shadows of my night
When my body is weak
From my heart’s fading beat
You strengthen, and you fight
With your desperate, angry claws
Vying for attention
To sate that hunger deep
 
But I see right through your pain
I see the child there
Crying out for love
Beneath the daggers and the blame
For I am that child
Yearning to be held
And I take that child sweet
In my open, loving arms
 
I breathe deep and slow
To invoke a wisdom beyond
This mortal body, weak
From my mind’s uncertain beat
I remember that I am
Connected to a light
That with love we can outshine
Even the darkest night

* * * 

I wake with a jolt, snapping out of a dream where I’m laying crippled in a hospital bed. In this reality, the heavens are splitting open with tropical rain, in the eerie shadow glow of that time before dawn: when the night is just starting to offer a clue that a new day is coming, but that prospect is still veiled in obscurity. In the Mayan language K’iche, this time is known as aq’ab’al.

My instinct tells me to leap out of bed and I race to grab my things off my desk: laptop, journals, and some scattered tarot cards belonging to my housemate. My room is completely open to the jungle outside, with no external walls or windows: despite the long eaves of the roof I can feel the wind stirring spray from the torrential downpour inside. I remember my guitar and grab her (fittingly, she’s named aq’ab’al), to place her in a corner that’s most protected from the weather.

I plunge back into bed but feel that I won’t sleep now. I’m swirling in a storm of my own thoughts and emotions, just as the storm whirls around me. My ego is haunting me: a bruised ego that has been craving external recognition and affection and bringing me down to dwell in a place of lack and need. Then I notice feelings of judgment inside me: judgment towards these aspects of myself that I don’t like so much, and the fact that I’ve descended into this egotistic place at all. 

But judgment feeds the ego. It fuels the desire to prove ourselves to others, to convince others that we are right, and deep down to actually trick ourselves. It keeps us in repetitive cycles of blame, excuses, self-pity, fear and hurt, in a place where we abdicate responsibility for our own actions and reactions: either because we project our emotions onto someone else, or because we paralyse our growth from the negativity of our self-judgment.

The ego likes to create a storm to get attention, to make it seem strong and powerful, when deep down it is in fact small and fragile. 

A meditation that I use in these moments to break the cycle, is to place one hand on the stomach and one hand on the heart, and imagine a channel of light between these points. The stomach is where we push down a lot of our negative feelings, where our shadows lurk, where we hold onto our pains and traumas. Imagine the light from the heart flooding down to greet and embrace that rising darkness: acknowledging those feelings and shadows, noticing them but without judgment. There is only love in the heart, and by breathing deep and focussing on that feeling of love, the storm of the ego recedes.

I come out of meditation to a ray of sunlight streaming down upon me. The rains have cleared, and the dawn has come. 

Release

As the year fades, I feel it sharp
Steady tug
Upon my opening heart
Thickness of my shadows
Past and parallel
Have been tightening
Fast, and fierce
With an angry pull
But I know
I’m wiser, stronger still
Than the darkest void
Than the blackest star
That’s melted from
It’s dying grace;
And so I rise
Flooding my soul with light
From the love
Of sweet source
From trust
In reason’s death
 
* * *

Every new year
Like every new day
Like every new breath of air we inhale into our lungs...

Brings with it the potential for rebirth:
for letting go of the old
welcoming in the new
calling in light and love to our hearts

And by doing so
melting away old wounds
damaging thought patterns
repetitious cycles that inhibit our evolution...
Close your eyes
Take a deep breath
I’ll meet you in that golden orb
Of shining pure love
 
Happy 2021

Lunar spirit

From the bloody shipwreck
Of my battered heart
My bruised ego
And my broken soul;
I emerge to hear
A calling true
From the depths within
A rosy song
Is rising to dance
With the incoming tide
Of the Lunar spirit
Guiding me strong;
Till I’m home
In a realm beyond
Where divine power
Of feminine grace
Is uniting and healing
The sickness of 
this race  

the healing starts in each and every one of us…

On the last full moon of this year, I find myself reeling with intense emotion associated with ancient unhealthy cycles of relating between men and women, and destructive patterns in my own sexual relationships. Emerging from this is a deep desire to heal and rebalance the energetic distortions which, despite living in an era of supposed “sexual liberation”, continue to be perpetuated in this society. This healing starts in each and every one of us: every time we heal and release one of our own traumas, every time we break one unhealthy pattern, every time we speak our authentic truth, we create a ripple effect in the norms and patterns within our society and create change for the better.

The Vortex

Emerald calling
upon my Calypso blood
is draining, pulling me
to the black centre
of the Earth's dying core

But though I've stumbled
I will rise with
the power of the Moon
filled with her eternal flame
undying lunar fire

And so our wounds shall heal
as the darkness melts
into its shadow dance
entwining with the music
of love's revolving door