Facebook does that thing, where it gives you a memory: a little reminder of where you were and what you posted, however many years ago. And today, it reminded me of a post from 5 years ago, of my LLB undergraduate dissertations, a photo I'd uploaded just before handing them in... One year later, some 4 years ago, and a few days before I was supposed to sit (and did sit) one of my Bar exams, I'd be in hospital with a bunch of needles in my arm. Fast-forward to last year: I would've been preparing for a trial, if it hadn't been for the fact I'd been unexpectedly locked down in Costa Rica and, in any event, due to Covid, the trial dates had been postponed. Last night, I played at what may be the last open-mic for a while, as some new restrictions in Costa Rica come into force. I met with a few friends who will leave town soon (I will miss them!), and then we went to frolic in the ocean underneath the full moon, before the 30 minute midnight hike back to my little jungle home. The moon was so bright, a flashlight was not necessary. And I haven't put on my glasses for any task, even computing which I originally (and still sometimes do) struggle with, in over three weeks now, as I continue to heal my vision naturally. It's an ongoing journey with many ups and downs. In some ways, circumstance forced me on a new path in life. In other ways, it was and is very much a choice. Every day we have a choice... a choice to view the glass half empty, or half full a choice to view roadblocks as opportunities to grow a choice to think outside the box, and believe that any dream can come true a choice to wake and watch the sun rise, and be grateful for simple beauties a choice to nourish our bodies, our hearts, and our minds a choice to give ourselves love, to do the things that, deep down, make us feel good and make us feel alive a choice to communicate with love, instead of anger, frustration, fear a choice to live, as the best version of ourselves a choice to breathe deep a choice to rise a choice to shine Sending love x Always grateful for any support
In this podcast, I speak about a transformative meditation technique that initiated and catalysed my healing journey.
I went from feeling physically, emotionally, and mentally crippled, to turning my life around, commencing a successful legal career, and finding the courage to transition to a lifestyle that integrates all my passions, as well as enables me to share the experiences and knowledge I’ve gained.
Grateful to Swaram for the interview.
Hope you enjoy, feel inspired, and wishing you a beautiful Saturday.
I’m grateful to any support, whether through sharing my messages if they resonate, or any contributions.
Grateful to PhoebeMD for featuring another poem of mine: my words also reminding me of my journey and the rise after every fall…
Because life is full of challenges, an endless cycle of death and rebirth.
◊ Rising ◊Rising [a poem] — PhoebeMD: Medicine + Poetry
Dear one... the pain be part of the journey to feel and to bear before you emerge reborn, renewed alive to your fullest potential
I know that starting a new “regime” is not always easy. Whether it’s a new diet, where you’re cutting out your favourite go-to treats and you’re struggling to battle back the cravings; or a new exercise routine that feels painful and exhausting on weary, underused muscles.
Instead of seeing the pain as a negative thing, befriend it. Change your relationship with it, understanding that it’s just temporary discomfort that is part of your healing process. Instead of fighting with it, breathe with it, be grateful to it: this new practice you’re starting is going to bring you results.
I’ve recently started a new, painful ritual. Every morning, after my yoga practice, I put a drop of this “Miel de Mariola” in my eyes – a special honey that comes from tiny, stingless bees, and is used to treat vision problems and “clean” the eyes.
For about 20 minutes I lay down in the gentle morning sunlight, while my eyes are on fire, burning with the sensation of the drops. I can’t open my eyes, it’s too painful. I’m blind.
The more I struggle the more excruciating it seems to feel.
So I’m learning to befriend it. I remind myself to breathe deeply. I also tune in with the other sensations – beyond the pain – that I’m experiencing. I have started to witness interesting releases of tension in the muscles of my face, and observe with curiosity that I am often experiencing simultaneous releases in my belly. The different parts of the body are interconnected in many ways that we don’t fully appreciate and are only beginning to comprehend…
And I emerge from the pain, feeling calmer, somehow refreshed, and with a little more clarity once I do open up my eyes. I wipe the tears from my cheeks and lick my fingers, relishing the sweetness of honey residue that has oozed out from my stinging irises.
There’s a sweetness after pain.
You got this. Keep going.
Singing songs about flow to calm the racing emotions within me and the raging storms around me waiting on so many answers so many people but realising I always have it all right here right now within me
The litmus test for your awakening measured by the lotus prayer in your mind's eye unravelling a vision of life beyond as coming into new clarity you rise and shine as the soaring star you are
Since scrapping my glasses over a week ago, the world reveals herself to me, in different ways. I’m still very much living in a blur – to be expected when my prescription was as strong as it was. But it’s not a static, disorienting blur of perpetual haze.
It’s a moving, breathing blur. It depends on my mood and state of mind, the time of day, what I’ve eaten. I notice it shifting and changing. Images clarify before me at times, in moments of relaxation. And when I truly need to see, it’s like some kind of intuition takes over to guide me no matter my physical state. Like the other day, when I needed to restock my candles after a power outage, I found them instantly in the supermarket. This surprised me in particular, because I normally always struggle to find them (their location isn’t obvious), and on this occasion they’d actually moved from where they normally were.
Living, moving, breathing through the difficulty of not having crystal clarity all the time, is also forcing me to be extra slow, which is in turn enhancing my awareness of other things going on in my internal world. In his book “Take off your glasses and see”, Liberman discusses how our “eyesight” is but a narrow component of “vision”, a much more expansive concept going beyond purely the physical eyeball. He also discusses what I’ve been experiencing – how breath, awareness, mood, emotions, and a variety of factors affect what we see at any given point in time.
I’m savouring the bursting moments of clarity that come to me at times, which are showing me that I can see, that I can do this, no matter how much of a process it is to adapt to a new world, and a new state of being, which I have not embodied for most of my life.
And I want to tell you: if you put your mind and your heart into something, you can make it happen.
Sending Saturday morning good vibes from Costa Rica, with this new upbeat tune about love and simple living.
I also want to share some tips on how to feel more “wealthy” and free yourself from the trap of thinking you need to work harder, in a job that may not correspond with your true passions; the trap of taking loans to pay for things that you don’t really need, putting yourself into debt that will just tie you up further in these negative cycles.
I want to help you realise that no matter what you have in your bank account, you can make your dreams come true. Sometimes you might just need to think a little bit creatively and outside the box.
Wealth is so much more than our bank balance. Grab a pen and some paper and write down – what are the things that really make you happy? Time? Relationships/love? Music? Dance? Food? Nature? When you expand your definition of “wealth” and start to become aware of the things that really make you feel good, you develop the awareness of what changes you need to make in order to ensure you are getting those things. When you act on that, you will start to experience a shift in your attitude that will help you to build up the confidence to start living the life that YOU want. We create our own luck: with every choice we make, every step forward down our true path. And when we feel “wealthy” inside, it is so much easier to walk the road no matter what obstacles come up.
I was only in a professional job for 18 months before circumstances trapped me in Costa Rica, and it’s now been a year of unplanned time off in which I’ve been transitioning and building a new life for myself whilst seeing my bank balance go down each month. There have been many obstacles come up, and difficult decisions to make, going against the grain of what I thought I was “supposed” to be doing with my life right now. I’m birthing a lot of projects, but I have no idea when all the pieces of the puzzle are going to fit together, and when the seeds I’ve planted will sprout. I keep myself motivated, positive, and in a mindset of trust, by tuning in with the non-material things that keep me feeling happy and “wealthy” inside.
I am also often inspired by stories I hear from people I meet here in Costa Rica: who came traveling with nothing, and made it work. A friend bought her plane ticket with all the money left in her bank account, arriving here without any friends or community, and is now successfully sharing her hypnotherapy work. Another friend slept on the beach for a year when she first left her home, and didn’t have the money for accommodation, and is now a popular musician in town. Her joyful reggae tunes very much inspired this song!
If you enjoy my offerings, I am grateful for any support you wish to show, whether with a donation or sharing the good vibes 🙂
Pura Vida (“Pure Life”) as they say here!
Oh I've felt it: the ebb and flow of my life's force but now it's back with its brilliant fire radiating from a light within and without meeting of my inner and outer worlds as I lift the veil I start to breathe through eyes that for years have never seen
I have recently started a journey to cure my eyesight using meditation and breathwork. I have worn glasses for 75% of my life, with a severe +6 prescription, and until now thought I’d never be able to function without corrective lenses.
I have experienced enough “miracles” in my life that I should not find the idea that I can get my sight back, to be surprising.. And yet, I am in a state of shock and awe as the days pass and I find that I am… healing. I’m so inspired to share my findings, so I’m starting a series of blog posts about this “Vision Quest”.
Computing is still difficult for me. I can’t see the screen clearly, but it now feels too painful to wear my glasses and I want to surrender into my transition… So, keeping these posts short and sweet for now before I dive deeper into discussion. In the meantime, highly recommend this book by Jacob Liberman.