Home… Wherever We Go

I nearly didn’t get around to posting this weekend, as the last fortnight has been a blur of struggle and challenge (despite some beautiful highs). Yet, in the midst of much destabilisation and uncertainty, I nevertheless today found a moment of peace and calm, and a surge of energy to write and to share with you here online. For the first time in days my splitting headaches have eased, and I look forward to tomorrow moving into a new home – where I’ll be spending the next 6 weeks.

Uncertainty and a sense of not having a permanent “home” followed me, from Canada to Costa Rica. After a couple of months touring in the van, I’d been longing to come back to Costa Rica and finally have a safe space to ground, rest, work, and to allow my creative juices to flow. However, soon after my arrival, I found myself uprooted again. I had to leave the property I was taking care of due to mould problems that were making me sick. Thankfully, friends took me in at their hostel (Shipwrecked, in Uvita) while I awaited a new house-sit.

The constant “shifting” around, and swirl of energy lately, has been testing me to my limits. Yet, I’ve been finding solace by just going to lay on the beach (one of my favourites is Playa Hermosa in the picture here), curled up on the warm sand, with the music of the crashing waves soothing me. Recent circumstances have been reminding me of the “transience” of so much in this life, but also the relative “permanence” of the earth and her beauty (provided we take care of these paradise places!) I’m yearning deeply for my own home to be ready, whilst also trying to soften into acceptance of what is present right now: through my meditation practices and connection with Mother Earth.

“Take me back to the earth, back to the ground 
Show me where I’m going, when I’ll be found…
Back to the earth, back to the ground 
Where I’m from, and where I’m found…”

Those are a few lines from a recent song of mine about connecting with the earth – knowing we are home, wherever we go on this planet. 🌎  And they are a little reminder to us all, to keep grounding deeper into our practices, into our appreciation for the simple gifts of life, and the blessings the earth offers us.

Finally, I’ll leave you with a poem on “home”, which I actually wrote near the end of our Western Canada tour just over a month ago. We were staying at the home of the owners of Moose & Squirrel Bistro in Medicine Hat, a lovely venue we were playing at. Their home and hospitality was a welcome relief after an intense week on the road – we’d driven all the way from Vancouver, with a stop in smokey Kamloops (forest fires just a few kilometres away), and gigs every other night. Although it was just a temporary “home” for the night, I remember nevertheless my body softening and relaxing like it hadn’t in a while, appreciating the space after so much time in the van.

Home...
is where the sweetness of all your memories
can come to lay at peace, your soul at rest
integrating and refracting
through the full spectrum of the rainbow.
Fears ease away, and you're left with
gold dust,
there in the pan, glimmering in the sun
after being washed clean by the rains
and by the river, purifying waters
that bring life to the lands
and love to the heart.

Home is where nothing more is desired -
the magic of the here and the now
entangles you in its web
and holds you close
in a nourishing cocoon
that gently carries you, to the world of
dreams, lived and fulfilled
here upon the loamy soils
of Mother Earth.

So, here’s a little reminder that home can be anywhere. Home is within us, and in our connection to the earth. Any and every place here can be a home for us, and I hope you will always find that solace, wherever you may go.

Have a beautiful end to your week, and a bright start to the next one.

With love,

Cara

Timeless… off the Icefields Parkway

Hello dear reader — I am back again after a little break from blogging! I hope this post finds you well, enjoying life, and making the most of all that its journey has to offer…

At my end, it has been a busy couple of months touring with music across Western Canada, with my partner Alex Flett. In 6 weeks, we travelled about 6000km (all the way from the Saskatchewan prairies, through the mountains and over to the coast by Vancouver). We didn’t spend more than 2 nights in the same location, and mostly slept in the van with all our instruments and music equipment piled high in the front two seats!

I’m now settling back into life in the jungle of Costa Rica. We’re right in the midst of wet season where I am (in the Osa area) and the constant rains are a welcome refresher after some of the dry and wild-fire-smoke filled air that I experienced in Canada.

For me, this is a moment for introspection and recalibration, after a lot of time being outward: performing for others, meeting new people, and making new social connections. Now is the time to connect deeper with and strengthen my inner discipline: to reflect, meditate, and also simply calm my nervous system after a lot of stimulation. And as I have softened into this practice, I have found sparks coming to life again inside me, creative ideas and energy to begin the next phase out here in Costa Rica. When the dry season comes we want to start building — so there’s lots of planning and preparation work to do in advance.

Silence, solitude, rest and reflection are important for our health and rhythm, so that we can always show up as the best versions of ourselves, embodying our soul’s desires and mission here on earth. Yet in our busy lives we can often be caught up in the “outward” and the “external”, without making the time to deepen our own connection to ourselves, to discover who we are when we are all alone. Who are we, and what do we want, when we take away the distractions (of people or things)? Who are we, when we face our own reflection, and must find love and connection not from someone else or via some thing, but through our own presence with the self and with the natural world that we are a part of?

I’m currently staying in a cocoon-like dome structure on a friends’ property (pending the construction of something more liveable on my own!). It is holding me like a womb, as I enter this next chapter. Yet I also feel the moment coming when I will emerge, spreading my wings, invigorated and ready to move forward — implementing all the ideas that are being born, with the new clarity I have found.

Remember this: once the transformation of the caterpillar is complete, it must leave the cocoon, to share the beauty of its butterfly wings.

Below, I will leave you with some prose I wrote during the tour – “Timeless, off the Icefields Parkway”.

I also invite you to make space in your life for being “timeless”. Set aside a moment this weekend to switch off your phone, computer, and TV, detach from the external world, and go deeply inward with yourself. Avoid the temptation to distract yourself with things. If a feeling of emptiness comes up, sit with it, breathe through it. Then ask yourself – what do I truly need to live a more fulfilling life? Am I living my life purpose? What steps can I take to fill myself with what brings true meaning to me? Am I living where I want to live? Am I where I want to be?

If you usually “numb out” via social media, television, or online scrolling, there is probably something fundamental that you are missing. The only way to find that piece, so that you may ultimately settle into a more peaceful and content existence, is to actually go into the emptiness and then see what spark of life and clarity emerges from that void. If you would like more assistance in exploring your purpose in life, I offer a variety of services that may assist you – please reach out if you need.

And finally, know that the more deeply you breathe into and embrace the present moment… the more you will experience the sensation of timelessness. The more focussed and productive you will be in moments of work, and the more restful and nourishing you will experience time of relaxation. The more you can fill your heart with joy, and the more you can connect to a thread beyond the physical — to support you emerge from any challenging moment, overcome pain and break free from suffering.

* * *

Timeless, off the Icefields Parkway

Our single shared phone (mine was broken, discarded back home) was about to lose battery. Not that it was much use anyway, since here you can drive for miles without any cell service, the only long-distance communication being with the howling wind and flowing water, in their travels across the land.

The Icefields Parkway is a road, spanning Banff and Jasper National Parks, and along its western side the Rocky Mountains stretch up to the sky. Their glaciers gleam in the sun - shining like badges on display. Yet they don't need no egoic-mental-attached name to announce their existence. And they'll live on long after those who named them are gone.

Earlier today we hiked up a canyon, and filled our bottles from the fresh glacial river. City dwellers would be too scared to drink such nectar, yet pay a fortune for false imitations of spring water, packaged in plastic bottles that harm our insides just as much as the earth.

We climbed up to a lookout - treading carefully and singing to announce our presence, for we had sensed a being, wild and untamed, somewhere nearby. It's berry season right now, and bears love to indulge in those sweet little fruits bursting with delight. We remained alert and aware, as we passed rustling bushes and the odd sound that could be claws scraping on bark.

We had made it through the dense forest and emerged on the other side to spectacular views, and the sight of the trail continuing below in a loop that would bring us back to where we had started without us having to retrace our footsteps through bear territory. What a relief - although we would instead be traversing beneath the site of a rockfall, where a few giant boulders looked to be suspended. How long they had hovered there for, and when they would fall, only eternity knew.

Moments spent in such raw territory, where nature truly is the ruler, seem to be themselves suspended in a place outside of time. And they breathe a sigh of relief into the soul, too long grappling and struggling to exist in the rigid society of rules and regulations. A system that is really just a futile attempt to control that which cannot be controlled.

Our campsite is just off the Icefields Parkway - a free spot on public land, where we can enjoy another glacial river, and the softness of the forest, without putting more money into government pockets (for you have to pay for everything in the National Park). There's no cell service at our campsite either. There's nothing but the vibrant hum of leaves rustling and grasses murmuring to seduce the daisies and other wildflowers I have no name for.

Isn't it sad, all those names lost? All those species forgotten, and no longer appreciated?

But I suppose they too live on, after those who named them are gone. Their beauty is captured in a timeless memory no photo could ever reproduce, and their spirit and their seed stays rooted in the earth. Beyond the folly of human existence, these lands shall carry forth their essence. They are forever preserved, in the eternal here and now.

* * *

As always, I am grateful for your continued support of my creative work. I hope something I have said inspires you this weekend, and if you would like to support me financially, you can purchase a copy of my book, buy my music through Bandcamp, or donate. And, please reach out if I can be of greater service to you!

Wishing you peace and love,

Cara

The Meaning of Perfection

… is the working title of one of the poetry anthologies I’m aiming to get released later this year. In part, the title reflects my own journey with perfectionism and arriving to the point of “letting go” when it comes to my art.

It’s also about the journey of life – finding perfection in each moment, in every season, phase of life, and environment on this beautiful planet. Most of the poetry in this anthology was written around the winter solstice 2022 and then later around the summer solstice 2023, both periods spent in Saskatchewan, Canada. This is a land of extreme polar opposites when it comes to climate – and a place where I’ve experienced a lot of duality in many aspects of life. To name just a few examples, there is both unspoilt wild nature and vast stretches of mono-crop – harmful industrial agriculture at its peak. There is both a strong feeling of spirit, and a hurtful history of destruction (when it comes to the indigenous peoples and their lands). The dualities I’ve observed have given rise to a lot of writing, as I’ve worked on finding my own inner peace with where I’m at and with the world around me – despite the flaws I can find and criticisms I can make.

In terms of perfectionism and the artist’s journey, I’ve been reflecting on how perfectionism can be both a blessing and a curse – depending on how you work with it.

It took me nearly two decades to publish/release my novel Siege into the world – in part due to my obsessive perfectionism. In some ways, that really served me when it came to that book. It needed for me to grow up, to weave in my more mature voice and life experiences, and blend them in with my childish sense of magic and wonder.

The time it took for me to publish Siege also enabled me to develop my own style, inner confidence and maturity – to truly share myself authentically, with pride for my own unique form of expression. I’m not here to try and please everyone – indeed there will be those who do not like the way I write, or what I have to say. The journey of bringing Siege to life allowed me to internally come to terms with that. Along the way, I have faced much rejection, criticism, and judgment – as well as received praise, and seen faces light up with joy at my work. I’ve learned that it’s much better to be true to myself and my voice – because that’s what will deeply touch the hearts of those I’m meant to touch.

Somewhere between the folly of our mistakes, 
times spent in slumber when we missed the signs

came a gentle blessing, tumbling through on the breeze.

A reminder, of the perfection
in the journey.

On another hand, perfectionism can manifest as a curse – if you allow it to block you from expressing, and freeze you in your path. When perfectionism gets out of hand, it may develop into a limiting voice in your mind that inhibits you. You might find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others you view as “better”, and try to shape yourself into something/someone that isn’t you. Or, you might compare yourself to an unattainable standard – that paralyses you, as you endlessly chase an ideal you’ll never reach (just like a legendary pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, that can’t be found in this reality). All that is ultimately destructive. Yes, it is great to strive, to grow and improve your art. But there comes a point when you must let go, and embrace the perfection in the imperfect: of all that’s raw and authentically human.

In a way, the paralysis that we may experience as artists by seeking perfection can have similarities with the paralysis we may experience from looking at external problems in the world. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming to look out there and observe all the ways in which civilisation is messing things up – from pollution and degradation of the natural world, to social problems, wealth discrepancies, class divisions, racism and so on. Sometimes it might feel like there’s nothing we can do to make a difference – when faced with such an avalanche of darkness crashing down.

But we must keep on going, and doing the little things that we can to improve within ourselves, then allowing that change to ripple out – little by little, no matter how slow it may seem. When the external world is getting me down, I try to practice using it as a mirror for my internal world, and tool for personal development and growth. How can I alchemise the criticisms and judgments? Instead of getting bogged down in the negativity we see out there, we can invite ourselves to step deeper into our path, to better ourselves, and make the personal changes in our lives that we do have the power to make.

Back to art: my tip for those artist perfectionists out there is to lean in to your authentic voice/expression. Don’t try to be someone else – you will never quite be able to be something that you’re not, because that’s external to you. You can only work on polishing the true diamond inside of you. Your authenticity is beautiful, real, and human. And shining your unique light may just be the inspiration someone else needs to see, to rise more fully into their own light.

On that note, I’m really proud of my love Alex Flett for releasing his next album “A Bridge Between Worlds”! If you’d like to check it out, you can find it on all streaming platforms or on his Bandcamp here.

Have a beautiful weekend,

Cara

p.s. The photo for this post was taken at the Napatak Ramble Music Festival we performed at in Northern Saskatchewan last weekend! I highly recommend this festival for the great nature and community vibes, with such a safe and kid-friendly space too. Thank you so much to the hosts, sponsors, and all of the crew and volunteers who make this festival possible! And a big thank you to those who bought a copy of my novel – it means a lot to have your support, and I enjoy meeting with my readers, sharing the inspiration behind the story, and exchanging energy.

Bird with a Broken Wing

The other day, our dog Sadie caught (and killed) a bird in the garden. Although I felt deeply saddened by the death of the bird, it was of course impossible to be angry at her. A dog’s natural instincts are to hunt and kill for food (as that is how they would survive in the wild).

The incident got me reflecting about human instincts – and how we (as a society) have become so detached from the natural world, and our role within it. Most of us are disconnected from the food we eat – we rely on purchasing products, packaged in plastic, from the supermarket. But when we are not directly involved in the farming and food-production process, we don’t see or feel the impact we have on the ecosystem that we are a part of. We aren’t as mindful of our footprint – we don’t appreciate how gluttony and taking more than we need disturbs the natural balance. We don’t appreciate the animal lives taken, or the way that industrial agriculture destroys the soils. Nor are we truly grateful for the abundance that nature provides us – we take it for granted that we can just go to the store and pick whatever we desire from the shelves, all year round.

On a related, but slightly different note, Sadie’s bird-hunt reminded me of this poem “Bird with a Broken Wing”, which I wrote a couple of years ago (copied below). It is based on a true experience I had of a hummingbird flying into the window of the home I was renting in Costa Rica. This was a regular problem – and I decided that when I built my own home, I would not use glass, because of the confusing effect it has on the wild birds. In a tropical climate where the weather is warm all year around, if you’re living in harmony with your surrounds, having glass is also unnecessary. Smart, ecologically built homes with proper ventilation are enough to live comfortably – there is no need to burn through electricity (and pollute the planet) by closing yourself off and artificially cooling with A-C!

* * *

The cleaner had just left, the windows to a polished gleam,
a crude illusion, that there is no separation
between –
		me, and that outside world, expansive opening of life
too vast and wild, for comprehension, my raw human self
still struggling, wading thick and deep, in those muddy canyons
of my mind, where I’m desperate to find, some kind of an answer.

Meaning? Purpose? Am I in control, or is it fate? Its fickle concept
evades me, running away, the more I seek.

And I look up, to a butterfly, battering its fragile wings
against the lofty ceiling, driving itself to a daze, in the confines
of my shelter – perhaps it’s really, a prison cage; 
spiralling, tessellating thoughts, that echo
in egotistical detachment
from the humble beat of a child’s heart.

Bang. A thud against the glass, I almost felt 
before I saw it, the impact of a free, flying spirit, brought
to the ground, to flesh and blood, to the painful reality
I chose to construct, by the silence of my voice.

It’s there, right on my doorstep, the threshold of my follies,
dividing line, demarcating the times, I cross over –

		in and out
		out and in

	always back, always seeking
the bewitched familiarity, of quaking stability; for these
comforts are crumbling, as I sit here, noticing
the tension in the place
where my womb ought to be 
but feels like
empty, outer space.

I go to find the bird, where it lays across my doorstep,
and I kneel, and I gaze,
at its little trembling belly, at its tiny eyes flicking –

		open and shut
		shut and open

	and I find myself, praying
for its blessed fragile body,
as I wonder, what went wrong
and what about, this abode
drew it in from its flight
spiralling wings of life.

Those cursed polished windows, as though that’s supposed
to help me see, with the bright clarity of day. Reality strikes
it’s for real now; a shattered mirror, reflecting dreams
that are unfurling
in the fallen embers of
this broken wing –

the minutes pass, the silence weeps; sticky with 
puss-soaked tears, that bleed through this snapshot in time,
reminders to look again, and find my axis, in the spinning top
of these distorted, melting memories, slipping away now

as though they never even belonged to me,
now that I see,
these shackles upon my soul.

The bird lays there.
I cannot even leave, without disturbing, its dying peace;
a hollow grief, seeps deep into, the fracturing fibres
of my being
caught, in the wicked relief
of my realisations.

How many clipped wings, till I rise?

No more, I say.

No more.

And the bird looks up.

And the bird flies away.

* * *

I hope this post inspires you to reflect a little on your place within the natural world. I invite you to take a moment to reflect on some small changes you can make in your daily life, to live more in sync with the planet. To give you a prompt, I suggest becoming more mindful of where the food you eat comes from – are you supporting local, organic, sustainable farmers? Are there ways you can cut down on food waste? What about composting or recycling? Perhaps even growing your own food? – my husband’s dad just turned our front lawn into a veggie patch!

If you’re interested in diving deeper to explore lifestyle change, I also offer mentoring services – you can get in touch with me via email to bridgesbetweenrealities@gmail.com

And, if you’d like to take things even further and experience an escape from the city rat-race, you can read more about my community centre project here and get in touch!

Have a wonderful weekend, and thank you for reading.

Cara

p.s. “Bird with a Broken Wing” will feature in one of the new poetry anthologies I’m working on. If you’d like to support my creative work so that I can keep on doing what I’m doing, you can buy my debut novel Siege or donate/buy my music on Bandcamp. Thank you so much!

Snowmelt

I give thanks for the way you melt my ice, when my peaks have frozen, from over exposure, to poisonous echoes from the past…

~ A poem about recovery from trauma. A reminder to all those who have suffered deep pain, that you can be set free from your suffering. May love warm your soul, wherever you go.

I wrote this poem in December 2022, during my first visit to Saskatchewan (and first experience of a deep Canadian winter with -30C!) It is for all those who have experienced deep pain and suffering – a reminder to have faith, to trust in the journey and process of healing, and to keep your heart open to receive love again.

I enjoyed performing this last week at the Cathedral Village Arts Festival in Regina, now that the spring flowers are in bloom.

The natural world is a source of great inspiration for me – and supports me both in my own personal processes, as well as when I facilitate/create healing spaces for others.

We can draw analogies between the “seasons” of our lives, experiences, and emotions – and the cyclical rhythms of nature. We can practice non-judgemental presence with whatever life is confronting us with – moving beyond binary thinking, towards appreciating the beauty in all aspects of life’s journey. For instance – on one hand we may associate winter with cold, grey, depressive moods. However, there is also beauty in winter – in the unique snowflakes catching the glimmer of the sun, in the quiet stillness of the frost-bitten air. There is also something special about cocooning and retreating inwards into hibernation. So too can challenging moments in our life give us the opportunity to turn inwards, to realise something about our character, to forge our identity stronger, and emerge brighter into the light with a greater sense of who we are, our mission on this earth, and how we can be a better member of our communities.

And just like the natural seasons are constantly changing from one to another, so too can we realise this is what happens in life. If we tap into this realisation, we can use the momentum of nature’s rhythms to aid us transform negative emotions into positive ones, and keep ourselves moving forward – with motivation and optimism for the spring, and the blooming of our hopes and dreams.

The musical accompaniment in the video is by Last Birds Music – and the performance took place during a beautiful evening of collaboration and co-creation at The Artesian theatre.

I hope you enjoy, and may love warm your soul, always.

Cara

p.s. For those in Regina, I am facilitating a weekly meditation & sharing circle series (Sunday afternoons in June) which is focussed on emotional alchemy and release through creative expression, with an emphasis on working with the analogies and power of the seasons. I fuse together my creative writing skills with experience as a meditation guide and facilitator. Get in touch if you are interested!

el Camino (the Path…)

In this week’s blog post, I’m very excited to announce the release of my latest single (and first song in Spanish), el Camino (which translates to the Path/Way).

This song is many things – it opens up Pandora’s box of stories to tell you. It started out as a break-up song – actually, the first verse (and chorus) came to me during a difficult time of heartache. However, it never felt like the words were about him. Rather, they were reminding me to connect with the love inside of me. To connect with my truth. To connect with my inner wholeness. And above all, to keep following my path, to keep my heart open, and keep loving.

The second and third versus came to me much later, after I met my now-husband Alex Flett (who is supporting me with the instrumentals, on lead guitar, harmonica and percussion, all at the same time).

Although the song literally comes across as a love song, it is much more than that. It is about perseverance, resilience, and making it through any obstacle life throws at us. It is about connecting to our inner fire, pursuing our dreams, and trusting in our mission. That with Love we will always make it through.

You can find the song on all streaming platforms, and also on my Bandcamp (link here), if you would like to purchase it to support my work. There, as well as below, I’ve written out an English translation of the lyrics.

Thank you to Alex Flett for backing me, Walter Jeworski for mixing and mastering, and Blue Door Studio where it was recorded.

I remember your touch
upon my body
like a silken web of dreams 
born, from the stars
it raises me up to the sky
where I meet 
my truth, revealed 
in the golden eyes
of a goddess 

~ Chorus ~

And so, I follow
the pathway of my soul
through the rains
I trust in my guides

I remember the way
you lit a fire 
in the depths of my heart,
illuminating the dark night
now, shadows and fears
are departing me
and in the magic of your presence
I will be liberated from my pains
a new day is dawning

Chorus

I can’t see the future,
I don’t know where we’ll journey to
but I know that we are always united
through time, and through space
the physical doesn’t matter
when our spirits are flying 
and I can see in your eyes
a mirror of all my dreams
for a better world

Chorus

I hope this song serves as a reminder to always keep on following your heart and soul – no matter what obstacles life may throw at you.

As it was released (this Friday), I was actually supposed to be flying back to re-join my husband in Canada, for our creative summer tour together. Unfortunately, my flight was cancelled due to strikes, and after weeks apart the news felt like a stab in the chest, as we yearn for reunion.

The silver lining to it all was being able to take an extra day of quiet relaxation after a manic week of packing my belongings and many hurried goodbyes. It was certainly not ideal, but I’d like to remind you that we always have the opportunity to shift our perspective and attitude, and adapt to our circumstances. We can get bogged down in the negatives, or we can accept them, find solutions where we can, and look for the bright side always.

I hope you enjoy your Friday, and have a wonderful start to your weekend.

With Love,

Cara

Springtime Blessings

You light my soul, with a kind of giddy music
that picks me up, and tumbles me
down, on a bed of starry dreams that
fell from the skies, and sprouted into
blooming flowers, dressed with honey –
those bees couldn’t help themselves,
they just joined us with a frivolous
desire to make life, that extra bit sweeter,
while we played and kissed
beneath a crisp blue sky
mirroring the magic in your eyes.

* * *

Dear Reader, I hope this post finds you well, enjoying the spring, and the refreshing vibrance that the sun’s kiss brings. With the arrival of May, we’re well into the season of renewal and rebirth, and feeling the ripples of warmth and joy that summer’s arrival signals.

Indeed May Day marks the mid-point between the spring equinox and the summer solstice (in the Northern hemisphere), and corresponds with the ancient pagan festival of Beltane – a celebration of life, fertility and creation.

On that note, I would like to take the opportunity to wish you well for this next chapter. Wherever you are on your life’s journey, I hope that the seeds of your dreams are coming to fruition, and you can harness the energy of this season to give yourself an extra boost towards achieving your goals.

To give you a personal update on my own life’s projects, I’m preparing for my summer arts tour across Canada, with my husband Alex. We’ll be sharing our music, poetry, and my book – Siege. Published in the depths of a dark, Canadian winter, I’m excited to see it brought more into the light this summer.

I’m also planning for my return to Costa Rica later this year. Now, with electrical infrastructure in place at the land, the plan is to start building – starting with some small guest cabins so that we can open the space up to share with others. For this, I need support – and I am looking for those interested who want to sponsor the building of “tiny homes”, in exchange for free visits (including local organic food, daily meditations and Qi gong).

You can find a brief overview of the project here. If you’re interested in exploring alternative ways of living (self-sufficiently and in-tune with nature) do reach out! For those new readers who don’t know me yet – I spent nearly 10 years living in the busy city of London, where I established my legal practice, before being locked down in Costa Rica during the pandemic. I then spent 3 years living in the jungle, with fresh air, pristine water, and local organic food, and experienced profound positive effects on my health from this environment and lifestyle. It became very clear to me that this was my true home, and that there was no going back to my old ways of being.

So, my invitation to you is to come and discover a different way of living, to see if that feels good for you. Whether you just want a short escape to “recharge” before going back to the city, or would like to explore options for longer-term living on the land with us, please get in touch with me at: bridgesbetweenrealities@gmail.com.

Have a beautiful weekend, and thank you as always for supporting my work!

With Love,

Cara

In deep presence…

There is only Now… to surrender totally and wholly into living.

This spoken word/poetry piece just burst out of me the other evening, around sunset time.

I hope it offers you some inspiration and a spark of courage to dive deeper into doing the things that you love doing; living your life more fully and taking advantage of all the beauty that this world has to offer.

One of the things that I love about my life in Costa Rica is how connected I am to nature’s rhythms. I wake with the sunrise, and wind down with sunset. These times are sacred to me: times when the veil between worlds (of earthly reality and the spirit realm) is at its thinnest.

I like to spend these hours in stillness – taking the time to meditate, breathe, and just listen to the environment around me and beyond me. This practice helps me to connect with myself in deep presence, as well as observe my existence within the broader ecosystem of the universe. It also helps me develop greater appreciation for the beauty that exists all around us in this world.

I love setting that time aside to watch the sunset and marvel at the magnificent eruption of colour in the sky. In parallel, I find my heart reflecting that eruption – expanding with a sense of peaceful joy and love, as I marvel at the miracle of being alive. As my mind finds stillness, I will often also find song lyrics, poetry, or messages of guidance drop into me. Unlike my mental thoughts, they don’t come from the logical/rational part of my brain, nor does it feel like they even come from me at all.

Whatever your spiritual beliefs may be, I invite you to take some time to connect with the sunrise or sunset – or both – for a week, and see what this can do for you in your life. I appreciate that this practice may feel harder in a city, where it may not be as easy to observe the sun because of buildings/clouds in the way. However, I wrote this poem in London – nature, spirit, and connection, can be found everywhere we go.

Perhaps you can find a nearby park. At the very least, set aside a moment for meditation so that you can be in stillness and silence during those 15-20 minutes or so around the time the sun crosses the horizon. After your meditation, take a moment to journal – writing down anything that came to you from the practice. Or, if you would like a prompt, consider writing on topics such as:

  • “What do you have in your life that you are grateful for – and what can you do to better express that, nurture that, and make that thing which brings you such happiness grow?”
  • “What is one thing you dream of doing but have never done – what steps can you take to actually make that happen?”

Remember, the time to live is now. And if we place our attention on the things that bring us joy, love, and peace, that is where our energy will flow.

Have a beautiful weekend,

Cara

Origins of a Colourful Hat Collection

I wrote a fun poem the other day about identity and self-expression: inspired by the colourful hat collection that I have in London. I was going through old boxes, trying on old outfits (hats, clothes, shoes), reflecting on my personal evolution since I had last worn these items.

At the same time as noticing how different my life is now (including my complete dis-attachment from those personal possessions I’d once treasured), I noticed how easy (in some ways) it was to slip back and embrace that “old” version of myself. I felt playful, and had fun dressing up in those old clothes, reminiscing of all the memories they brought back and different aspects of my personality they revealed.

The thought that came to me strongly was the importance of integration as we journey through life. In the end, no matter how we change, grow, evolve, all these different expressions of ourselves are still us. The more we can embrace all parts of ourselves, and those different facets, the more we will ultimately be able to embrace others. To have compassion and empathy for others – in all stages of their own growth and evolution. To honour the unique path of every person, and have understanding and appreciation for all steps along the way.

This led me to think about how in many new-age spiritual circles, I have observed polarised-type thinking, and “us” and “them” mentalities. Many have stepped outside city-living, and quit corporate jobs in favour of new lifestyles that are simpler (relatively-speaking) and supposedly more connected to nature. Does this make them better humans? I think not.

I equally observe many flaws in “alternative” communities. I observe many who may give the appearance of living like “hippies”, and who condemn the “system” – but whose living is predominantly funded by investments and resources acquired only by virtue of feeding into the very system they condemn. And what about regular flying all over the world to the next festival? What about the emissions from air travel, not to mention the environmental impact on certain habitats where these festivals are held? (A whole other topic I could dive into…)

There are many so-called “new” systems proposed too – which are just old hierarchical models in disguise. Pyramid schemes are prevalent – disguised under the name of “circular/gift economies” advertised to promote community sharing (but which do the opposite, and feed off new recruits, those “lower” down the chain, who sustain those at the top).

In my view, one of the reasons why many “new” systems suffer from the problems of the “old” is because of a lack of integration of the inner self. By this, I mean problems of internal conflict people have that stem from not fully embracing or accepting all parts of oneself, and one’s journey through life. Indeed, there could even be things we have done in our past which we dislike, or are ashamed of. However, the key to truly moving forward in our lives and beyond any behavioural patterns we dislike is to actually look at them and delve into the roots. What underlying causes led to certain behaviours – are there any deeper hurts or traumas within ourselves we need to heal, forgive, integrate? If we simply shun or condemn those aspects we dislike, we’re actually missing out on a golden opportunity for deeper healing. The kind that can lead to us truly learning from our experiences, and making real, sustained life change that goes beyond superficial changes in appearance.

When we are not integrated, there is a risk of “old” behavioural patterns spilling out and manifesting in other ways, as well as polarised (black/white) thinking, and mentalities of judgment that perpetuate separation over unity. We judge what we perceive as “bad” in others, often because there is a part within ourselves that we don’t like, that we haven’t healed or forgiven. And we cannot help anyone else (or create “new” systems free from the issues we want to escape) when we are suffering from internal conflict. We need to free ourselves of that – in order to find solutions that are balanced and compassionate, formulated with deeper awareness and drawing on a full spectrum of knowledge and understanding of the world around us.

There are a minority of people I have come across who truly do practice what they preach, and who live very simply (and essentially self-sufficient) off the land they steward. This kind of living inspires me, and is what I aspire to. Equally, I must ask the question – does the earth have capacity for everyone to live like this? Probably not.

The other night, I enjoyed a meal out with a friend of mine – a close friendship that has survived such change and evolution, as each of us have grown and progressed down very different life paths. What warmed my heart dearly was the love and joy I felt we could share, from the heart. Peeling back the superficial differences of how our lives appeared, we shared a common thread of connection. And, in the silence between our laughter, and stories shared over a margarita and fries, I experienced moments of feeling closer to spirit than I have at so-called spiritual gatherings in the jungle.

So my key message is this: let’s be compassionate to one another about our different lifestyle choices. Let’s all do our best, in the situations we’re in, taking steps to share what we have with others and give back to the environment. If we do this, I think we can go farther than if we perpetuate mentalities of separation – of “my lifestyle is better than yours”.

* * *

A few years ago, I dated a rocket scientist
I was crazy about her, and her work
preparing for a mission to Mars
she dyed her hair, all shades 
from emerald to lilac 
violet and rose
cycling through memories
of a blooming rainbow
revealing different aspects
of the Soul.
The rebel within me
loved her rebellion: her wild side
a refreshing breeze
upon my serious demeanour
from a day pent up in a 
courtroom
with a silver horsehair wig 
and Harry Potter robes, bereft of magic 
a cloak over the wild woman
within. 
It didn’t last long — but what prevailed
was my dreams of outer-space, reignited
and a passion for life
and love without limits
my spirit reborn
from a grave, too long stifled 
by the straight-jacket of
pencil skirts, black suits and 
stiff white shirts 
disguising my true identity. 
Her elephant tattoo 
and gypsy smile
left it’s imprint upon my heart 
and I began collecting hats 
for I couldn’t dye my hair —
I was still caught in the 
litigation race, 
though desperate to escape,
it would take some years
‘till that rocket did launch. 

* * *

I now invite you to take a moment to complete this journalling exercise – which will invite you to reflect on an “old” version of yourself, and encourage integration of that aspect. The aim is to support you to feel greater compassion and connection to others who are at different stages of their own life journey. Notice how I refer to “different” stages. Although as humans we perceive time in a linear fashion, let’s not confuse this with thinking that our evolution is linear, or that just because we have had certain experiences in the past that gives us the qualification to judge and comment on others living those experiences in the present.

So, visualise yourself at a different stage in your life – and recall what it was like in that moment. What did you enjoy about your life? What were the benefits you reaped? What about the negatives? What did you dislike? What did you struggle with? Try to give equal consideration to the positives and to the negatives. Write your thoughts down. Perhaps even express creatively – through a poem or a song, or draw a picture.

Now, with these new awarenesses and lenses, try to practice compassion and empathy whenever you encounter someone doing something or living a lifestyle you disagree with. Try to soften the judgments, and instead of rejecting them, find the common ground. And above all, embrace that aspect of yourself which you see in them, or which is triggered by their actions and way of life. Learn to co-exist with the difference, and find peace in that co-existence.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog post, and I wish you a beautiful weekend.

With Love,

Cara

Spirit’s Footsteps in the City

It’s strange to return to a big city after so much time living in the wilderness. The other week, I opened up an old box of my things, taking out clothes belonging to a past version of myself, and making me feel somewhat of a ghost in my own skin.

Echoes of a former life whisper back at me, and I wander the streets outside the Royal Courts of Justice where I once worked, stepping on familiar pavements that feel so foreign. I am at a crossroads of sorts. The future simultaneously feels more unstable and yet more secure, in an uncanny paradox. I think that’s what happens the deeper you connect with your heart’s true desires. Somehow, despite all the unknowns, you find yourself in a calm still-point. The only thing that really matters is that you surrender further into the giddy void of your expansion. Like the deep blackness of outer space, it is full of mystery and potential.

Days here are very different from the last couple of months – where I lived without electricity, working on repairing a landslide we had in Costa Rica (which felt quite literally like “moving mountains”), planting food for the future and foraging for what nature was already providing.

Now, there are no more fires at sunset, and I live in a place that feels strangely sterile – despite its modern comforts. After all, I had been living in a rundown hut shared with a bat, scorpion babies, and even a snake at one stage. Those creatures were my greatest teachers, in more ways than I can possibly describe.

I’ve been tapping away at my computer on some ad-hoc freelance editing jobs. So much screen-time is harsh upon my eyes, so I break up the day wandering about to different bookstores, seeing which ones will stock my book – Siege. When warm responses greet me, my heart takes flight – reminding me this is what I truly want to be doing. I was saying to someone the other day – “You have to love what you do more than the money you receive from it.”

As I slowly reconnect to another pace of life here in London, I realise there will be no “re-adjustment” to speak of. Sometimes you reach a point from which there is no going back. It remains to be seen how I integrate and incorporate the various aspects of myself – former “lives” lived within this one particular incarnation of Cara Goldthorpe. Still, the one thing I know is what sets my soul alight, and that it is a fire I must tend to.

On that note, now that I live with electricity again, I’m re-emphasising writing as a priority, and will be more present on this blog. I’ll leave you with a poem I wrote the other day after busking called: “A Day in the Life of my Husband’s Job“. The image is from the nearby Thames – reminding me of Nature’s spirit, strong even in the city.

I had been editing a book that morning
talking about comfort zones
and expanding them
overcoming our fears –
lest they paralyse us
the longer we don’t act on our desires.

Decided it was time, to take a break from the screen
and go into town
to have a go at playing music
on the streets of London
something my husband does for a living
but to me, the thought
threatened to choke up my throat.

I much prefer the stillness
of a quiet audience –
so I may settle into softness
instead of competing with the hustle
and bustle
of a hurrying crowd.

I am more moonlight, as he says
and he is the sunshine
and sometimes it’s a struggle
even to play together
because I feel the subtlety of my
style
gets lost.

Yet, why not –
put myself in his shoes?
Perhaps that will help me
to find more inner balance
and maybe earn a penny
for my efforts.

Besides, my brother
is working from home
and I want to play music
but do not want to disturb him 
from concentrating
on his rather serious job.

As I’m about to leave
he voices his concerns –
“the police could come”
and I reassure him
that I know the busking laws
and that in our council
there’s no need
for a licence.

Off I go, and I’ll admit
I wander around the market square
for 20 minutes
summoning my courage
and scouting where to perch –
first, I stop at a café 
called “Triple Two Coffee”
to get some 222 luck
to ignite my inner
fire.

Then I surrender
into the melody of songs
that came to me in the wilderness
when I played beneath the stars
beside a crackling fire.

A few strangers throw coins
but what’s priceless is the smiles
of wide-eyed children
enchanted by the story
of a golden eagle
who flew up to heaven –
touching other worlds
and bringing mystic messages
home to earth. 

A kind lady approaches
from Gail’s bakery
a place I’d once frequented
on bougie brunch dates
with law friends –
a few stuck around, all this time
while I discovered a different 
side to my soul.

She hands me a pastry
wrapped in a napkin
assures me it’s fresh, it’s warm
she just bought it at the counter
and I thank her for her kindness
and place it beside my coffee –
she notices 
and she says she’s glad
that I have a drink too.

I wonder what she thinks?
And to be honest, whatever it is,
it feels refreshing:
I’ve grown tired of the perception
I sense subtly, in new circles
that because I was once a lawyer
I’ve bottomless pockets
and can procure money with no worries
in a heartbeat.

The times have shifted
and I ride swirling currents
surfing the uncertainty
as I find humility
on the pavement, on the floor
sprawled out across a sarong
bearing the symbol of Ganesh
beginning a new life

afresh.

I hope you have a lovely weekend. And, if you enjoyed my work and want to support me, you can find a copy of my book online (paperback and kindle) or in select stores.

With Love,

Cara