Through the Discomfort…

Dear one... 
the pain be part of the journey
to feel and to bear
before you emerge
reborn, renewed
to your fullest

I know that starting a new “regime” is not always easy. Whether it’s a new diet, where you’re cutting out your favourite go-to treats and you’re struggling to battle back the cravings; or a new exercise routine that feels painful and exhausting on weary, underused muscles.

Instead of seeing the pain as a negative thing, befriend it. Change your relationship with it, understanding that it’s just temporary discomfort that is part of your healing process. Instead of fighting with it, breathe with it, be grateful to it: this new practice you’re starting is going to bring you results.

I’ve recently started a new, painful ritual. Every morning, after my yoga practice, I put a drop of this “Miel de Mariola” in my eyes – a special honey that comes from tiny, stingless bees, and is used to treat vision problems and “clean” the eyes.

For about 20 minutes I lay down in the gentle morning sunlight, while my eyes are on fire, burning with the sensation of the drops. I can’t open my eyes, it’s too painful. I’m blind.

The more I struggle the more excruciating it seems to feel.

So I’m learning to befriend it. I remind myself to breathe deeply. I also tune in with the other sensations – beyond the pain – that I’m experiencing. I have started to witness interesting releases of tension in the muscles of my face, and observe with curiosity that I am often experiencing simultaneous releases in my belly. The different parts of the body are interconnected in many ways that we don’t fully appreciate and are only beginning to comprehend…

And I emerge from the pain, feeling calmer, somehow refreshed, and with a little more clarity once I do open up my eyes. I wipe the tears from my cheeks and lick my fingers, relishing the sweetness of honey residue that has oozed out from my stinging irises.

There’s a sweetness after pain.

You got this. Keep going.

Beyond the Eyes

The litmus test
for your awakening
measured by
the lotus prayer
in  your mind's eye
unravelling a vision
of life beyond
as coming into
new clarity
you rise and shine
as the soaring star
you are

Since scrapping my glasses over a week ago, the world reveals herself to me, in different ways. I’m still very much living in a blur – to be expected when my prescription was as strong as it was. But it’s not a static, disorienting blur of perpetual haze.

It’s a moving, breathing blur. It depends on my mood and state of mind, the time of day, what I’ve eaten. I notice it shifting and changing. Images clarify before me at times, in moments of relaxation. And when I truly need to see, it’s like some kind of intuition takes over to guide me no matter my physical state. Like the other day, when I needed to restock my candles after a power outage, I found them instantly in the supermarket. This surprised me in particular, because I normally always struggle to find them (their location isn’t obvious), and on this occasion they’d actually moved from where they normally were.

Living, moving, breathing through the difficulty of not having crystal clarity all the time, is also forcing me to be extra slow, which is in turn enhancing my awareness of other things going on in my internal world. In his book “Take off your glasses and see”, Liberman discusses how our “eyesight” is but a narrow component of “vision”, a much more expansive concept going beyond purely the physical eyeball. He also discusses what I’ve been experiencing – how breath, awareness, mood, emotions, and a variety of factors affect what we see at any given point in time.

I’m savouring the bursting moments of clarity that come to me at times, which are showing me that I can see, that I can do this, no matter how much of a process it is to adapt to a new world, and a new state of being, which I have not embodied for most of my life.

And I want to tell you: if you put your mind and your heart into something, you can make it happen.

All We Need

Sending Saturday morning good vibes from Costa Rica, with this new upbeat tune about love and simple living.

I also want to share some tips on how to feel more “wealthy” and free yourself from the trap of thinking you need to work harder, in a job that may not correspond with your true passions; the trap of taking loans to pay for things that you don’t really need, putting yourself into debt that will just tie you up further in these negative cycles.

I want to help you realise that no matter what you have in your bank account, you can make your dreams come true. Sometimes you might just need to think a little bit creatively and outside the box.

Wealth is so much more than our bank balance. Grab a pen and some paper and write down – what are the things that really make you happy? Time? Relationships/love? Music? Dance? Food? Nature? When you expand your definition of “wealth” and start to become aware of the things that really make you feel good, you develop the awareness of what changes you need to make in order to ensure you are getting those things. When you act on that, you will start to experience a shift in your attitude that will help you to build up the confidence to start living the life that YOU want. We create our own luck: with every choice we make, every step forward down our true path. And when we feel “wealthy” inside, it is so much easier to walk the road no matter what obstacles come up.

I was only in a professional job for 18 months before circumstances trapped me in Costa Rica, and it’s now been a year of unplanned time off in which I’ve been transitioning and building a new life for myself whilst seeing my bank balance go down each month. There have been many obstacles come up, and difficult decisions to make, going against the grain of what I thought I was “supposed” to be doing with my life right now. I’m birthing a lot of projects, but I have no idea when all the pieces of the puzzle are going to fit together, and when the seeds I’ve planted will sprout. I keep myself motivated, positive, and in a mindset of trust, by tuning in with the non-material things that keep me feeling happy and “wealthy” inside.

I am also often inspired by stories I hear from people I meet here in Costa Rica: who came traveling with nothing, and made it work. A friend bought her plane ticket with all the money left in her bank account, arriving here without any friends or community, and is now successfully sharing her hypnotherapy work. Another friend slept on the beach for a year when she first left her home, and didn’t have the money for accommodation, and is now a popular musician in town. Her joyful reggae tunes very much inspired this song!

If you enjoy my offerings, I am grateful for any support you wish to show, whether with a donation or sharing the good vibes 🙂

Pura Vida (“Pure Life”) as they say here!

Vision Quest

Oh I've felt it:
the ebb and flow
of my life's force 
but now it's back
with its brilliant fire
radiating from
a light
and without
meeting of my inner
and outer worlds
as I lift the veil
I start to breathe
through eyes
that for years
have never seen

I have recently started a journey to cure my eyesight using meditation and breathwork. I have worn glasses for 75% of my life, with a severe -6 prescription, and until now thought I’d never be able to function without corrective lenses.

I have experienced enough “miracles” in my life that I should not find the idea that I can get my sight back, to be surprising.. And yet, I am in a state of shock and awe as the days pass and I find that I am… healing. I’m so inspired to share my findings, so I’m starting a series of blog posts about this “Vision Quest”.

Computing is still difficult for me. I can’t see the screen clearly, but it now feels too painful to wear my glasses and I want to surrender into my transition… So, keeping these posts short and sweet for now before I dive deeper into discussion. In the meantime, highly recommend this book by Jacob Liberman.