A couple of weeks ago I had the blessing to receive an equine therapy session in the mountains near to Lake Arenal, Costa Rica with Eric Kolesar and the Tula Vida horses… such an amazing and powerful experience, here’s a little more about it. I highly recommend his work and retreats!
And I gazed into his eyes of melted chocolate, dripping sweet like heart-opening cacao, mirror for the textures within the unfurling rose of my inner sails riding across new seas to foreign shores as I find myself forgetting the stories, and all those times I’d been gripping with some kind of a desperate strangulation to all that does not serve but is like a toxic, addictive nectar of hurt – Yet… he showed me just where to find that voice inside and I found myself plunging my head, deep into the rippling waters of my Soul realising, I could go beyond and not drown. And so Beloved, I am ready to walk by your side with trust that we both have sight of the goal but will never be lost by stubborn focus on the end – instead, simply enjoying the journey while of course knowing there may be moments of lost connection like a little too much tension in a tin-can telephone line but still, that process be a perfect part of our shared paths – now I see how he dissolves the judgment off from the critic within myself.
The session began with an introduction to equine therapy and the horses, and setting an intention – I chose to focus on releasing a resurfaced sexual trauma. From the moment we began talking, I could already feel the effect of being in the horses’ presence – so much that I decided to change my intention from its “negative” focus on release of something “bad” that had happened, to a positive focus on stepping more into my empowered feminine.
It was amazing to see – and experience – how the horses pick up on our emotions, how that in turn affects their behaviour, and so how they act as mirrors for us to look deeply into ourselves to observe how our thought and emotional patterns affect us. It also made me reflect deeply on the connection between “inner” and “outer” worlds: how we affect one another when relating, and the kinds of feedback loops that we generate – through body language, subtle expression, and energetic vibration.
An example of this was an exercise we did to “lead” the horse that had chosen to work with me (Mr Big) to various points around the site. I witnessed how he would not move when I either became anxiously fixated on the goal of reaching the destination, or when I had feelings of doubt and insecurity about arriving at that goal. In the first case, he picked up on my mental fixation, tendency to attach to and rush towards achieving outcomes, and impatience. In the second case, it was my lack of self-confidence and belief in my ability to “lead” him, and insecurity as I turned to look back at him, that inhibited our progression. These feelings I had went hand in hand: when I could not get Mr Big to “move”, I would find myself becoming doubtful and judgmental about my “failure”, and then “try” even harder in that detrimental, overly future-focussed way.In both cases, witnessing how Mr Big was reacting to my inner state, brought to the surface my tensions and mental/emotional tendencies, in a stark way that facilitated my self-examination and then release of the behavioural patterns which were no longer serving me.
horses can act like mirrors for us: to look deeply into ourselves, witness how our inner world affects our outer, and how environmental feedback loops develop from body language, subtle expression, and energetic vibration…
As the session progressed, I found myself becoming more aware, present, and letting go of painful stories as well as judgments about myself. Horses know how to be so present in the here and now. I found myself identifying where I get stuck in stories from my past, and occasions where I allow things that have happened to me to inhibit how I relate in the present, due to fear of those cycles repeating. I left feeling more centred, peaceful, connected and ready to embrace my life and new opportunities in a fresh way – like I’d been through a big resetting process. I’m very grateful for the experience, and to meet all the beautiful souls at Tula Vida – human, horses, and the vibrant nature around the farm.
If you’re interested to know more, check out Eric’s pages: